NARCISSIST TRAITS. IS HE/SHE A NARCISSIST- PART 2
Is he or she a narcissist ?
- Impulsive they undo themselves of behavior that is oddly stupid for people as intelligent as they are. They expect to get away with anything they feel like at the moment.
-Extremely sensitive to personal criticism and extremely critical of other people. They think they must be seen as perfect or superior, infallible next to god like. They cant tolerate the least disagreement. In fact if you say "Please dont do that again, It hurts." They will turn around and do it again "harder" to prove they were right the first time, Their reasoning seems to be like "I'm a good person and I can do nothing wrong. Therefore I didnt hurt you and you are lying about it now." They will say your nothing, your worthless, and turn around immediately and say they love you. They will attack you sometimes physically and spew a load of bile, insult, abuse, contempt, threats, etc and then well its kinda like they had indigestion and the vicious tirade worked like a burp "There. I feel better. Where were we?." And they expect you to feel better too. Narcissist expect you will feel devasted by their withdraw of his/her divine attention so that after awhile, a few weeks or months (the next time the Narcissist needs to use you for something) they will expect you to have learned your lesson and be eager to return to the fold. They cant see that they have a problem it's always somebody who has the problem and needs to change. They criticize, grip and almost complain about anyone or anything all the time. They complain about the same thing for years on end. But only rarely do anything about the things that dissatisfies them so badly.
-Narcissist have a little sense of humor. They dont get jokes, not even the funny papers or simple riddles, and they dont make jokes, except for sarcastic cracks and the lamest puns. Because of lacking empathy they dont get the context and affect of words and actions, jokes, humor, comedy. They specialize in sarcasm about others, and mistake it for wit. They are incapable of irony.You might take their humor as intentional pose or humorous put on when in fact the Narcissist was serious. I've known Narcissist to make fun of others, repeat jokes they've heard others laugh at, and laugh at jokes when others laugh, but knowing how to make people laugh is not exactly the same as having a sense of humor.
-Narcissist have strange work habits. Normal people work for a goal or product even if the goal is a simple paycheck. Normal people measure things by how much they have to spend (in time, work, energy) to get the desired results. Narcissist work for a goal too but a different goal they want power, authority. Lacking empathy Narcissists cant understand how people achieve glory or highstanding they think its all arbitary or all appearances, its all who you know. So they try to attack themselves to people who already have what they want, meanwhile making a great show of working hard. Narcissist can put in a shocking amount of time to very litle affect. They do know that your suppose to work and not be lazy, so they keep themselves occupied. But they are not invested in the work they do whatever they do produce is just something they have to do to get the admiration and power they crave. Since this is so they dont really pay attention to what they are doing, perferring the easiest thing at every turn, even thou they might be constantly occupied, So that Narcissist manage to be workaholics and extremely lazy at the same time. Narcissist measure their worth of their work by how much time they spend on it, not by what they produce. They want to get an A for effort. Narcissist lack empathy so they dont know what others value and why. They know the price of everything and the value of nothing. The Narcissist may in fact hold oneself to a grinding work schedule that gives them something like a vindictive high so that, even wrought up, they can be sorta dazed, giddy, groggy, making you wonder if he's drunk or otherwise intoxicated-now thats a real workaholic. Usually this excessive behavior appears to be- and some will even tell you this-- an attempt to distract themselves from unpleasant or inconvenient feelings (Its a manic defense against depression and note with Narcissist its inaccurate to use "unhappy" or "happy" because their feelings are just not that differentiated; "euphoria" or "dysphoria" are as close as they get to ordinary pleasures or distress). or to make themselves unavailable to other's emotional needs.
-Its very hard to have a good uncomplicated time with a Narcissist. Except for odd spells of euphoria unrelated to anything you can see, their affective range is mediocre-fake-normal to hell-on-earth. They will sometimes low lie and be quiet, actually passive and dependent this is as good as it gets with Narcissists. They are incapable of loving conduct towards anyone or anything, so they do not have the capacity for simple pleasure, beyond the satisfaction of bodily needs. There is only one way to please a Narcissist (and it wont please you): that is to indulge their every whim, cater to their tiniest impulses, bend to their views on every little thing. Their's only one way to get decent treatment from a Narcissist, keep your distance. They can be pretty nice, even charming, flirtatious and seductive, to strangers, and will flatter you shamelessly if they want something from you. When you attempt to get close to them in a normal way, they feel you are putting emotional pressure on them and they withdraw because you are too demanding. They can be positively fawning and solictious as long as they're afraid of you, which is not most people's idea of a real fun relationship. A clue: Run for cover when they start acting normal, maybe expressing a becoming of self doudt or even acknowleding some fault of their own, such as saying they now realize they havent treated you right or that they took advantage of you before. They're just softening you up for something really nasty. These people are genuises of "Come closer so I can slap you." Except that's not the way they think of it, if they think about it...no they're thinking, "Well maybe you do really care about me, and, if you really do care about me, maybe you'll help me with this." Only by "help" they mean do the whole thing, take total responsibility for it, including protecting and defending them and cleaning up the mess they already made of it (which they will neglect to fill you in on because they havent really been paying attention, have they, so how would they know??) They have not considered for one second how much of your time it will take, how much trouble it may get you into their behalf, and they will owe you "BIG" for this--no your just going to do it all out of the goodness of your heart, yet they are delighted to exploit once again, and your virtue will be its own reward; its suppose to just tickle you pink to be offered this generous opportunity of showing how much you love them and or/ how lucky you are to the servant of such a lumionous personage. No lie--They think other people do stuff for the same reason they do: to show off, to perform for an audience. That's one of the reasons they make outrageous demands, put you on the spot and create scenes in public, they're being generous--they're trying to share the spotlight with you by giving you the chance to show off how absolutely devoted-to-them you are. It means they love you; thats why they are hurt and bewildered when you reject this invitation.
Almost everyone has some Narcissistic Traits, but being conceited, arugmentative, selfish sometimes (or even all the time) doesnt amount to a Personality disorder. Narcissist is a long term pattern of abnormal thinking, feeling or behavior in many different situations. The traits you just read may seem peculiar or just disturbing when someone acts this way you will know something is just not right and having close contact with a Narcissist may make you feel bad about yourself. Rememeber Narcissists behavior says "Its all about me" and "Your not good enough." Their is a lack of empathy and inability to show love.