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Showing posts from January, 2015

I FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF

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I feel sorry for myself at times and I regret all the mistakes I have made. I someday regret the day I was born and somedays I curse my very own existence, I am trapped in a web of problems, Problems that cannot be solved but tolerated, Until they get solved on their own, Till then I have to bear it, Tolerate the enormous amount of pain that it gives me, I feel bad, I feel so sad, But I find no way to wipe my tears, I am walking on the path of life, With no hope, with no ambitions, I just want to finish myself, I just want to perish myself, For that’s the easiest way to, Escape the perils of life…..

LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL

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Life is not always beautiful. Sometimes its ugly, Uglier than the most horrendous ghosts, Some days i simply cannot move, And em stuck somewhere, Where misery haunts me, And failure mocks me, I try desperately to get out, But ALAS there ain’t any way To come out, with each moment passing by, I am strangled by the devils of unfulfilled desires, The ghosts of pending dreams, They keep haunting me, And I am lying here brutally wounded, Bleeding in pain, trying to get back, On a journey called Life…

IZZY KA PUNCH- DUS KA PUNCH

After existing on this beautiful planet called earth for 23 long years, I have learned some lessons  that I would love to share with all my readers. Some chapters that I read and morals that I got from them all through my life and what I learned about it. I am no chanakya or any other great philosopher but still I am who I am and I value myself greatly. So here I go :-
      1) No matter how decent and calm you are, there would be people who would always want to mess up with you. Something keeps itching in their ass may be. 2)   No one gives a shit how successful you are or how big a person you are, you will be insulted and made fun of. Always be prepared for it.
3) Many a times people won’t accept their mistakes, you have to point it out to them.
   4)Every action must have an equal and opposite reaction and that’s why revenge is justified.
   5)  If no one thinks great of you, do it yourself. Be the change that you want to see in the world.
  6)Have a personal dream , a personal hobby, a …

MOTHER MARY AND JESUS AND ME AND MY MOTHER

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I was reading the gospel of St John Chapter 2, that tells us about the wedding at Cana where Jesus performed his first miracle. When all the wine was given out, Mother Mary asked her Son Jesus to intervene and help them as they had ran out of wine. Jesus answered her, “ You must not tell me what to do, My time has not yet come”

. After reading what Jesus said, something clicked my mind and that bought a smile on my face.
Next morning as I sat to read another novel,  my mother like every other day came to me and started the same lecture that I must have heard a thousand times. Most of it would involve, why are you not serious about your future, be serious about your studies, life is not a joke and all that stuff, if you don’t work hard today, you will suffer tomorrow.


I looked at her with a smiling face and said,  “ You must not tell me what to do, My time has not yet come”.
she looked at me bewildered  and said ,”how dare you say this to me” and then took her chappal and gave me a good t…

FRIENDSHIP DIARY- FEAR PREVAILS AND DEFEATS LOVE

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 I walked out of her house without looking at her, deeply hurt with her words and wounded by her actions. I didn’t want her to see my tears. I never wanted her to know she had hurt me, such was my ego. May be she was hurt too only if I had turned back and seen. 
I went away and as I reached my home, I got her message, “ I will never forget the way, you walked out of my house We will never meet….now…never ever again..bye”
Her message crushed me to core and pierced my heart.  I felt like throwing away my phone but then I controlled my emotions .
She feared that like her ex, I will break her trust and she without asking me anything assumed that I had broken her trust
I feared that like my ex, she will leave me without any reason, I assumed that she would do the same and her message confirmed my fears. I texted her,” ok, we won’t meet, ever again…bye take care….stay happy…stay blessed..”
I never got the guts to ask her  the reason or to dig into her heart to know what she felt.
I walked away on…

FRIENDSHIP DIARY- SHE WAS A GOOD FRIEND BUT THEN WE KISSED....

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I was there sitting at her house, talking to her.  We were good friends, very good friends, and just to confirm that we are friends and not lovers, let me tell you two things, so that you have no doubt about our relation :- S    1)She was standing at her gate waiting for me, wearing a tshirt and pyjama and no makeup. And above that she was wearing a weird sweater. If I had been her boyfriend, she would have wore something sexy isn’t it. 22)Her hairs were shabby, even though she had made a pony and looking at her, I could make out, she hadn’t taken a shower . I also thought, shit why did I take a bath in this cold weather. If she had been my girlfriend, atleast she should have cared to take a shower. Ok, coming back to the story, so she was sweet, simple and cute. Her smile was her best asset that reflected her innocence, I liked her. even though she was a bit weird, did things that were beyond my understandings but she was a good human being and cared for people around her. couple of day…

FRIENDSHIP DIARY- SHE WAS A GOOD FRIEND BUT THEN WE KISSED (1)

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I was there sitting at her house, talking to her.  We were good friends, very good friends, and just to confirm that we are friends and not lovers, let me tell you two things, so that you have no doubt about our relation :-
1      1) She was standing at her gate waiting for me, wearing a tshirt and pyjama and no makeup. And above that she was wearing a weird sweater. If I had been her boyfriend, she would have wore something sexy isn’t it. 2      2) Her hairs were shabby, even though she had made a pony and looking at her, I could make out, she hadn’t taken a shower . I also thought, shit why did I take a bath in this cold weather. If she had been my girlfriend, atleast she should have cared to take a shower.
Ok, coming back to the story, so she was sweet, simple and cute. Her smile was her best asset that reflected her innocence, I liked her. even though she was a bit weird, did things that were beyond my understandings but she was a good human being and cared for people around her. cou…

FRIENDSHIP DIARY-RANTINGS OF A HURT SOUL

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I feel so crushed, so disappointed, so bad, so weird, so sick. Friendship is not good at all times. People at times let you down. I am fed up of all those betrayals and backstabs and I feel like breaking all the relations at once and shut the doors of my heart. Its so difficult to trust people, its so difficult to love them and embrace them with all their mistakes. No matter whatever good we do, if someone has to hurt us, they will. People come into our lives on their will and leave us on their will, we have no say in their choices. They will treat you as they want. life is unfair, I am saying this because it actually is. There are so many hypocrites out there, who would come to you, and say, I trust you…never break my trust, you know…..many have broken my trust before…I hope you don’t…if you do…I won’t trust anyone ever in my life…please hold my hand…I need you and this same so called innocent souls, break you down one day…leave you without giving you a reason. They never would once …

A SMALL SUNSHINE IS ALL I NEED

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A small sunshine is all I need, To destroy the pale shadows, Of my past, A small peck on my cheeks, Is all I need, To forget those long kisses on my lips, I am getting over her, with each passing day, feeling better with each moment, passing by It took months to get healed, Of all her love bites, of all those wounds, She gave me, Now there remains some faint memories, That haunt me, Those pale shadows of the past, A small sunshine is all I need, To destroy the pale shadows, Of my past,

MY FRIEND, HER CONCERN AND CARNAL SIN

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Few days ago, I had written a story “CARNAL SIN”, the story was a surprise for my readers and I got some really good compliments for it.

http://issacwrites.blogspot.com/2015/01/carnal-sin.html

The story was heavily inspired from chapter 9 of the novel “ are you afraid of the dark” by Sidney Sheldon. One of the messages, I got was from a  very dear friend of mine. I thought of writing about it because of the sheer innocence it had, the concern a girl has for her own future…her expectation. Her question bought a smile on my face.
She texted me,” Izzy, your story left me speechless”. I thought may be she liked it a lot, so asked her,” did you like it”. She said,” not at all, after reading it, I was shocked”. I asked her,”why what happened”. She said,” everything was going on so well in her life, she finally got a guy who loved her and this is how he treated her,  it was all so nice, so good, but then what happened after that, it was disgusting….how could a guy do something like that, how co…

YOU FEAR BEING REJECTED

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If fear is being felt,become more loving, Take a few steps towards each other, Everybody fears, not only you, you wait someday someone will come, to love you, but no one will, because the other also fears. And where there is fear, there is no love. People who fear,  fear of one thing, The fear of rejection, Women never take a step, for they fear more, They wait for the man, the man should come, For they then have the power, to accept or reject, Many wait for whole their life, But love never knocks their door, A person who fears closes the walls of the heart, Such that no one could enter, no one could come near, Love is not a problem, fear is, Open those closed doors and let the rays of love come in, There may be rejection, but why to fear, The other can say  a no, but why to fear, The other can say a yes too, there is a possibility, But if you live in fear, you chose a life, Where there is no love, no life……

CARNAL SIN

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Sneha always used to think,” All men are idiots, they think a woman who is plum looks unattractive, morons they are and don’t know anything about what does a beautiful woman mean. If I am plum that doesn’t mean I am unattractive. Bastards!!!!!!! Who are they to judge.” She was always ridiculed for her weight and obese figure. She was fed up of all those offending remarks, those advices of losing weight. Why can’t people accept her as she is. She never got dating proposals as everyone wanted a girl with chicken legs . There was  a lot of anger in her, a lot of frustration because everyday the world rejected her for being fat.
Who the hell decided that perfect stats of a woman would be 24’ 36’ 26 to make her life miserable. Even though she was good in studies and had the beautiful ability to paint beautiful paintings. she was sweet and cared for others but people always looked at her external side, not taking the pain to look within, if they had, they would have known, she was such a won…