My love, my drug,flows through my blood.
"Is there a way out?" I cry to God above.
They say I will overcome this one day, but it's hard when my own mind doesn't feel the same way.
I don't strive to feel good, just to feel numb, because no feelings at all are better than some.
In search of a way out of my dark days, I stumbled upon something that took the pain away.
It was love at first sight, the perfect escape, unaware of the consequences I would soon pay.
Relationships, jobs, opportunities quickly fade, with the only thing left being the mess I had made.
Now my new "normal" is dysfunction and sin,desperate for what would make most people cringe.
Straws up my nose or a needle in my vein became the only way to get through the day.
I never meant to hurt those who love me most, but the decisions i became forced to make were no longer my own.
The perfect solution I thought I had found, became the ugly addiction holding me down.
Hope for a better way becomes bleaker everyday when what's ruining my life is all that I crave.
A temporary relief of my pain,guilt and shame, became a permanent struggle I face everyday.
Will I ever have the courage and strength to end this lifestyle for happier days?
All one can do is hope and pray....