WHEN CHOTU WAS A CHILD, HE WAS MOLESTED
Chotu had decided to get married as his parents had given him the option of continuing his studies or getting married. He chose the latter. At 28, you cannot study anymore. So he married a girl he selected, as he could not get a girl to marry him. I went with him to see the girl and the scene was as uncomfortable as you see in the movies. Well uncomfortable for him, but fun for me. There are actually 20 people looking at you and another 20 are held back in the adjacent room. And then the girl comes with the tea(she actually does, it’s not a myth. More than 75% of Indian males see their wives for the first time over a tray of tea), the guy, Chotu in this case, gives a smile that cannot be replicated and the girl blushes, turning even redder than the lipstick she is wearing.
Chotu was now summoned , or called by the girl’s father and he was supposedly let alone with the girl. Alone actually meant sitting in a corner where everyone could see you and hear you. I wondered what a guy would say to a girl at such a time. I wondered what I would have asked her had I been in that place. I came up with questions that required just a shake of head.
Q.1 Are you a virgin?
Q.2 Do you expect me to be a virgin ?
Q.3 Do you want a baby ?
Q.4 Are you a non-vegetarian ?
Q.5 Are you the ‘clinging on’ types ?
I called these 5 questions to be marital bliss. Well it was not me he had to question, it was chotu and he was also asking some questions. I asked him later what he had asked and he had asked 5 questions as well. Question 1, 4 and 5 being the same for us. Our friendship reached a new level that day.
That very day, Chotu told me something that he had not told anyone. He told me the reason why he had been afraid of physical intimacy for so long. Chotu had lived in a boy’s hostel since class 4. One year after joining the school, when chotu was having a bath, his warden came inside and tried to exploit him. Luckily for Chotu, more boys entered the bathroom and the warden had to leave.
BUT THE DAMAGE HAD BEEN DONE.
Chotu had kept this truth hidden from everyone for the past 18 years of his life and he broke down while telling this to me. I don’t know why he told me then, may be that was something that had been holding him back and now that he was getting married, he had to tell someone.
I got a perspective on life that day. On how two minutes of your life can change your entire existence. Chotu was my best friend and he had been with us the entire time, trying out whores, making sexual jokes and all but deep within, he was shit scared.
AND IF IT TOOK HIM SO LONG TO TELL THIS TO ME, I KNEW HOW DIFFICULT THOSE 2 MINUTES HAD MADE HIS LIFE.