WHEN I LOOK BACK


Looking back, when i was young i was prepared by the society that if i study well, i would get good marks in board exams, everything would then be great. After that i was prepared to study well to get through some good college, after that i was prepared to study to get a good job, then good business school, then good job again. At the end of each task was always this assurance by society that life would fall in place after doing that. But it never did. Even after college, i was prepared by the society to have a better future but that future never came. I know this is not a very progressive thought but i never wanted to be the next Einstein, I was happy as the Prashant world would soon forget.

SORRY IF I GET A LITTLE EMOTIONAL ABOUT SUCH STUFF....

Looking back i really don't know why we cared for the future that much, i mean, why did we not leave our jobs and do what we wanted( I even knew what i wanted, i just wanted to be with my son). We had earned enough money to keep ourselves going from the rest of our lives, but we continued on the same path of wanting more. Societal pressure again i guess.

 My social life was now restricted to office parties which were very boring. Imagine working at a place with people you don't really like because you have to compete with them, then partying with them at night and trying to have a good time. Just didn't work out right.

My son was 8 now, yes so quickly, and i had missed him growing up. I was now in a very senior position at work where i actually had more time to myself, had time to be with my son, with my wife. But life is weird isn't it. My son was not really close to me as he had hardly seen me. He now had his group of friends and preferred playing with them rather than with me. Teena was still the same though She still adored me the same way she did when we got married. I remember how i had to marry a girl i didn't love and had to leave the girl i loved. Teena was not the girl, i loved. 

You know people say that if you stay with a person for long enough, you do start loving them.I guess i did start loving her, infact i loved her a lot more i could imagine. Love is not what i used to think about in my teen days. It's not waiting for a 'hi' or wearing the same shirt she complimented you on or when you see her everywhere, or growing crazy or smiling for no reason or looking at your phone hoping it would ring. It's when you want to be with each other, even if none of the above thing happens.

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