I was depressed, lost and frustrated with my whole life. first of all I was studying something, I never liked and every moment I used to spend reading those books of chemistry, I felt like real shit. Life felt like a burden. I had got two backs in physical chemistry till now, both the time I got 17 out of 80. I gave the exam for physical chemistry for the third time and this time, had really worked hard for it because if I failed this time, a whole year would have been wasted . A year wasted means the trouble I took to study this horrible subject would go waste, the pains I took, the hard work I did, all would mean nothing. It would mean I would have to start everything from the beginning and began from the scratch. The good part was I had done my exam well and I knew I would get great marks. I was really hopeful about it.

As is said, the wait is terrible than the result itself and my wait become a bit longer as the university delayed the results for almost 4 months. This were the most terrible months of life, I became a victim of my own disastrous thoughts and the harsh words of my parents made matters worse. Broken and shattered would be the words I would use. The future looked dark deprived of light and i saw no hope.

 Just to get away from this depressive environment, I planned a trip to Mumbai.  My best friend lived there, as he was also calling me for a long time and he too wanted to meet as he was all alone in that big city. I packed my bags and left for Mumbai, two days it took and I reached the city of dreams.  Away from all the depression, problems, headaches and studies, I was here. Three friends, a whole night and a bottle of Smirnoff ,I drank heavily that night and we blabbered the whole night about the shitty life we were living, about girls, breakups and about each and every thing that mattered and didn’t matter. With every drop of vodka that went in me, I felt light, lighter and lighter. I was floating and as I walked and I felt as if I was walking on the moon .My mind started roaming in places where I never went. I talked about things, I never talked about and i felt light, I felt good.  By the time the booze was emptied from the bottle, the chicken was finished, so was sprite. I drank the last peg and it was my 9th peg.  Both my friends went to sleep, I lay there awake for a while till sleep took over. I guess the clock showed the small arm at 3 and big arm at 6 when i closed my eyes.

The next day, it was 10.30 when we all woke up, my head was spinning and it was paining as if someone had hit me. I struggled to get up , I went to pee and as I came back I peeped into my phone, there were 3 miscalls from a friend of mine who studied with me. I called him back and what he told me, was the happiest moment to come after days of gloom and despair. The results were announced and I had got a staggering 65 out of 80.i couldn’t believe myself and kept asking him again and again to confirm. He understood my happiness and asked for a party. I promised once I reached Bhopal, I would surely give the whole class a treat. As I kept the phone down, I jumped with happiness and thanked God a thousand times. That very moment, my faith was restored in life and I believed that,” ohh yes I am not a loser”. There was hope for me, i am not going a year back now. i can look forward now, i can do my internship now and the feeling was fantastic. I called my Mother and gave her the good news, she showered me with blessings and thanked God for this miracle.

That night I had AFTER DARK with friends. The whole atmosphere was filled with peace and happiness. i felt like a King who had won a losing battle. i felt like a Winner after a long time, for a victory tastes sweeter after bitter defeats. For you understand the meaning of happiness when you experience the sadness of sorrows. 

See the irony last night I was drinking talking about the frustrations of life and the following night, I was drinking to celebrate my victory. Life is so strange and unpredictable. My future was bright now, i was sure about it.

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